I’ve been hanging around on some of the popular pregnancy discussion boards lately. It wrings the magic right out of things, I’m not sure why I go there. I get sucked in while trying to fill in the gaps, unsettled that another woman will ponder whether she can eat honey for another worried minute if I don’t dive in and reassure her that my midwife says it’s okay.
Yes, I have a midwife! I’ve been having scattered, distracted conversations with two of them, interspersed with hacking coughs (the Cold That Never Saw Robitussen hangs on) and finally scheduled an interview for this afternoon with the one I was enjoying a little more. Turns out she’s been practicing for over two decades, attended over 1000 births, and was called to do this via a Vision Quest in the desert. Yeah. They don’t come much purer.
She also carries two oxygen tanks with her to the births, is up on her neonatal resuscitation, engages in peer review, is state and nationally certified, and has performed only two episiotomies. Two. The list of her bad-assedness goes on. So she’s woo-woo + phd, and distinctively qualified to help me achieve my goal of Redirecting This Massive Intertia of Intellectualism that I gather is not going to even begin to know how to grok this Exceedingly Physical Endeavor. Not to mention the emotions.
Have I mentioned the sudden onslaughts of tears? And the physical changes. This is where I’m already beyond needing to be convinced that my intellect has nothing useful to offer. Stuffed with book knowledge, it’s nodding in agreement (while consulting the Mayo Clinic Guide) that, yes, “stimulated by increased production of estrogen and progesterone” there will be a few physical changes. But that doesn’t begin to scratch the emotional surface of this reality: I’m going through puberty again. These awkward questions of my basic shape were solved so long ago, I thought. A new old dialogue is going on, re-opened in a way I never would have suspected possible. But hey, this is what I’m signing up for… a transformation. And I am getting my alertness on for every moment of this one.
Are you planning to have a home birth? I used a midwife last time (and this), but had Max in a hospital (using only midwives). This time I want a home birth (meaning I have to find a whole new midwife; not sure about the laws there, but here they’re pretty strict).
I am – and would love to talk with you about it. I have a friend who had a water birth a little over a year ago, I happened to stop by her place during labor, beautiful peaceful event. I have a few books that have suggested lists of questions to ask a midwife, qualifications to look for – happy to share. If you don’t want to get the books, I can photograph the pages when I get back home post-holidays.
Midwife recommended DVDs to start with: “The Business of Being Born” and “Orgasmic Birth” (both on Netflix)